Victorian dating after dating divorce kid
"Etiquette books were all the rage at the time, advising men and women on Victorian courtship rituals and what it means to be a proper lady or manly gentleman.
Maintaining relationships in the Victorian era meant deciphering the often bewildering code: How does a gentleman walk with a lady? “Make love” to Victorians meant instead chaste courtship or wooing. “You will avoid hurting anyone’s feelings, and save yourself from all further perplexity.”What about anonymous gifts from dudes? Nope: “When this is the case, it is a good way to put them by, out of sight, and never to mention them.”) Women, it is argued, prefer a “backward, awkward, and even a little uncouth” manly man over a “polite, agreeable dandy.” Men of the time were told to not frequent “the haunts of disreputable women” or spend time “ruining weak-minded girls,” but instead “harden your hands and smut your face at honest work.” In case the message wasn’t clear, the book also advises men to “engage in every manly exercise, so that all who look upon you will be compelled to say, ‘There is a man.’” (1860) says engaged men should not only “show constant attention” to their “bride-elect,” they should also “neither in company nor elsewhere... But there’s a Victorian twist: “On the other hand, he should avoid, even to his bride-elect, those marked attentions and endearments that would excite in strangers a smile of ridicule.”So no public displays of affection?
Say, you see this unbelievably hot person across the room, you couldn’t just walk over and say ‘How you doing? The girls were always accompanied by an older female from their family, who was called a Chaperone.
In those days, courtship was considered to be a tradition and was very popular.
Queen Victoria and her family were the idols of the Victorian society, even in the case of courtship.
You see someone you like, you find out their name, stalk them on social media, get a mutual friend to introduce you and after a couple of dates you ask them out. We are talking about a time when ballroom dances were a social gathering, when girls went to school to learn to be good wives, where marriage was a business deal and dowry was your ticket to a better life.
It’s what Julia Stiles books are made of, Victorian romances that grip your attention and make you imagine what it would be like, to fall in love at a time like that.
There are usually flowery forms for written proposals from the suitor as well as a plethora of gushing acceptances from the bride-elect.